they are like my chili padis to my banmian.

without chili padi, my banmian is not syiok enough to eat.

and a day without them, its incomplete. <3 p="p">

and i'm alone at home. the husband, a day out with his friends & Qusyairi out with his nenek & atok to jemputan. the feeling is like, as if there's a hole in my heart. boleh gitu? :P

i may nag, shout, ask to do this, to do that, make angry faces, masam faces,

but i love these 2 guys in my life, every little bits & pieces of them.

i do question myself most of the times; what if my husband gets tired of my naggings & scoldings & whining?

i did asked him once; have u ever regret in marrying me?

he said; 

"never". 

i've once sang this song to you;

"Andai esok, aku menjadi tanah, sudikah engkau menjadi bunganya?"

i cried like crazy lah, wad else. heh. :')

he may not be rich,

he may not have enough money,

he doesn't pamper me with expensive stuffs,

he may not listen to what i tell him to do,

he may irritate me and make me shout back at him,

he may eat alot and even eat my share,

he snores everynight,

BUT,

he can make me laugh till i'm out of breath,

he will want to end a quarrel as soon as possible,

he give me hugs like he knows when i needed one,

he make me thank God everyday that he was my other half.

HE matched him with me.

HE chosed him for me.

HE knows the right person for me.

Thank you Allah.

:)

Salam Semua.

You know how i hate it when i didn't blog for quite sometime and i will go, "oh my, its been a month or err, half a year gone, or its been weeks since i last blogged". Somebody should just slap me laaa. I mean, who cares if i blog or doesn't? HAHA. I'm not someone who is popular for people to be reading this little, humble blog of mine. so yeah.

And so, life resumes as i've started working. Working life, a wife & a mother. I seriously thank God that i have my mom. She's been taking care of Qusyairi when i went out for work. She doesn't complain, she doesn't nag at all. I'm still proud as ever of her. She can still cook, clean, do ironing & still layan my botak boy.

On the 13th of Dec, my mommy turned 49 & it was the same day when the bro got enlisted for Tekong! When we all guessed that he will surely kena police. But in the end, army says HI to him! hehe.

of course, mum cries on the day itself & she just cried again last 2 days. she said she missed afiq & scared he will get tortured in camp. auww ibu.. 

my mum is like that one lah. when i was going for camp in pri 5. she kissed me left & right and tears already gathered in her eyes. 

and she also told me that when i went for my honeymoon, she cried coz she missed me. 

ibuuuuuu, gue sayang sama loh. forever & ever.

fyi, while typing this, i feel like crying myself too. oh, mums are like that issit? hee.

sigh, my boy is growing up too fast. super fast indeed. 

there are days where he gets way too cranky, or too happy, or too active. 

my cranky superman.

he's getting adorable as days passes.

what i like most now is; he doesnt wakes up as much as he does when it was during his early months.

heh.

and he kept on wanting to hold his own bottle when his hands are not that big enough & he doesnt even know how to grab it. MCM PAHAM ONLY LA this boyyy. haha. and ohh, he loves it when there are ppl around him talking to him. and he will response; either by shouting or heyyyy, or hooooo, or raaaaaaa & wadever else baby languages lah.

and weehee! bonus coming! there a super long list which i need to buy. and hands are itching to shop!
And also, i wanna go S.E.A Aquarium! mcm best jeeee.

Yakin.

the Almight has proved to me. Syukur Alhamdullilah.

I used to complain. Alot. Before having a baby, i kept on thinking about whether i will get pregnant or not. I kept on asking myself, why do i get pregnant quite late (although it was 7 months after marriage) when other couples usually conceived after about 3-4 months. That got me worried.

And when i got pregnant, the most concerned me was; money. Whether it would be enough to buy for the baby's needs. When he's sick, when he needs milk, and when he needs his pampers. The prices of the milks and going to doctor kept on rewinding in my head.

I kept praying to God, talked to Him, complained to Him, tell me hearts out to Him.
Syukur Alhamdullilah, whenever i feel that money isn't enough, there is always, money coming in. Alhamdullilah. Amin Amin.

"mau yakin babe".
memang btol tu. btol sangat-sangat.

Welcome to the world, Khair Qusyairi!

Hi!

First thing first, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, minal aidil wal faizin! :)

2nd thing, I've given birth to Khair Qusyairi Bin Azman on the 13th August 2012, 25 Ramadhan 1433 @ 2255hrs.

Here are pics, a few days before 13th Aug.

And here I am, wanting to share the experience I had during labour and what it feels like to be a mother. :)
Of coz, labour was indeed madness and painful. Those who said it wasn't painful must be the ones who playcheat or just doesnt want to scare you. Like my mum said, 'you will know when the time comes'. And to describe the exact words during labour, only Allah s.w.t the Almighty will know how to.

**potong line: i hate my house's keyboard. so difficult to type lah.

So, on 13th of Aug in the morning at about 8plus, i felt water coming out and i thought it was pee. I went to toilet and i actually 'pee-ed' before i sat down on the toilet bowl. It was being repeated for about 3 times. On & off i got up from bed and went to the toilet. I called mum and asked is this what they called the waterbag and mum wasn't sure herself. So i called up SGH to ask. I was adviced to come down as they will do a check. Husband got panicked plus excited, while me on the other hand, still kept thinking about Raya. I kept on telling my husb & my mum that i die-die want to Raya first before giving birth. As errr, you noe lah, i want to eat all the nice-nice food before my pantang starts.

When i reached SGH, they started putting wires all around. That already got me scared. A female doctor came to check how many CM has my cervix opened. THAT was the first pain i felt as she will feel it with her fist. It was only 1cm when she first checked. And, the water that flowed out was my waterbag leaking & no reason why it leaked too early when my due date is only on the 8th Sept. I was induced, i could only pee in a pot as i couldn't get up(they dun allow). My contractions started about 3 in the afternoon and it was still bearable. As a first timer, i didn't know contractions would be more & more painful as labour gets nearer. When the nurses kept asking me whether to take epidural or not, i kept on saying no as i was being supported by the gas which helped me relieve the pain abit.

So, the next cervix check was at 6pm, which was only 3cm. my face was totally like this: -_______-
I was like, Bila nak game seiiiiiii? Hahaha. Husband who was there by my side all the way, kept asking me to take epidural but this big headed girl still say no. So, i told myself and husb, by the next check which would be at 11pm, if still not open till 8cm & abv, i will take epidural.

By 9plus, the contractions started to be more & more severe. The pain is ON & OFF. When it comes, the feeling is like menses cramps but 1000000000000000000000000 way moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee painful. ouch right. THEN, i asked for epidural. I guess about 10:30pm, (i couldn't look at the clock already coz too painful; can't be bothered)
a nurse checked, & my cervix is already 8cm! Everyone was shocked including my husb as it went from 3cm to 8cm in tat short period of time. Hehe. By then, epidural was cancelled and more nurses started to come in to help. Bcoz, i tell you one secret, whenever the contractions came, i didn't noe how i got the strength to PUSH together with the pain, when no one tells me to do so. I guess, that causes the cervix to open.

And then, the PUSHES and the breathings started. And please eh, no shouting. We were told to close our lips during the pushing part. I accidentally opened my mouth and shouted and got scolded by the nurse. HAHAHA.

At one point of time, the doctor told me to stop pushing as she saw the baby's head already. I couldn't stop pushing as it was too painful and POOOOPED! Khair Qusyairi FLEW OUT! >.< syukur alhamdullilah, he was 2.7kg at the time of birth. :)

So, epidural comes in action when it was time for the sewing part. Epidural is really a magical injection eh. Once it got injected in the spine, we will not be able to feel half bottom of our body within a few seconds. When i used my hand to feel my legs, i thought it was cushion. Haha.

Once everythin was done, i felt so weak. I kept on seeing stars. I couldn't stand properly. They said i lost quite a huge amount of blood during labour.

So, how does labour sounds to you? For those who have gone through labour, wa salute sama luuuu! hehe.

Coming up next episode: Aftermath of labour.

In life,

In life,

One is not supposed to talk big, to show off, and to be arrogant.

When you do that, not only God hates that. But us, normal human beings hate that. And some even curse you back saying all those not nice words behind your back. And do you know that, what goes out from our mouth is Do'a? So, try to imagine, some or maybe a whole lot of people saying unpleasant words to you, hoping you'll get into all those mishaps and all? Astarghfirrullahalazim. Aren't you scared? If you are not, i am. And i don't understand why there are people who still do all these. Who are too arrogant and too show-off-ing. Haiya.

Revenge is something that will make us feel, puas hati. But, its not about revenge, but its about for that particular person to learn a lesson. To learn not being too show off. Oh, its just a piece of paper, a diploma. And you're talking as if you've earned some masters shit. And please, your diploma is not from some recognised organisation. If it's from a polytechnic, then fine. But this, you were not qualified at all to continue for this piece of paper at all.

In life,

Its better to just keep quiet at times and let the flow goes. Oh well, i'm already like that. But, of course, when the time comes for me to shout. I will screaaaaaam.

:)