You know how i hate it when i didn't blog for quite sometime and i will go, "oh my, its been a month or err, half a year gone, or its been weeks since i last blogged". Somebody should just slap me laaa. I mean, who cares if i blog or doesn't? HAHA. I'm not someone who is popular for people to be reading this little, humble blog of mine. so yeah.

And so, life resumes as i've started working. Working life, a wife & a mother. I seriously thank God that i have my mom. She's been taking care of Qusyairi when i went out for work. She doesn't complain, she doesn't nag at all. I'm still proud as ever of her. She can still cook, clean, do ironing & still layan my botak boy.

On the 13th of Dec, my mommy turned 49 & it was the same day when the bro got enlisted for Tekong! When we all guessed that he will surely kena police. But in the end, army says HI to him! hehe.

of course, mum cries on the day itself & she just cried again last 2 days. she said she missed afiq & scared he will get tortured in camp. auww ibu.. 

my mum is like that one lah. when i was going for camp in pri 5. she kissed me left & right and tears already gathered in her eyes. 

and she also told me that when i went for my honeymoon, she cried coz she missed me. 

ibuuuuuu, gue sayang sama loh. forever & ever.

fyi, while typing this, i feel like crying myself too. oh, mums are like that issit? hee.

sigh, my boy is growing up too fast. super fast indeed. 

there are days where he gets way too cranky, or too happy, or too active. 

my cranky superman.

he's getting adorable as days passes.

what i like most now is; he doesnt wakes up as much as he does when it was during his early months.

heh.

and he kept on wanting to hold his own bottle when his hands are not that big enough & he doesnt even know how to grab it. MCM PAHAM ONLY LA this boyyy. haha. and ohh, he loves it when there are ppl around him talking to him. and he will response; either by shouting or heyyyy, or hooooo, or raaaaaaa & wadever else baby languages lah.

and weehee! bonus coming! there a super long list which i need to buy. and hands are itching to shop!
And also, i wanna go S.E.A Aquarium! mcm best jeeee.

Yakin.

the Almight has proved to me. Syukur Alhamdullilah.

I used to complain. Alot. Before having a baby, i kept on thinking about whether i will get pregnant or not. I kept on asking myself, why do i get pregnant quite late (although it was 7 months after marriage) when other couples usually conceived after about 3-4 months. That got me worried.

And when i got pregnant, the most concerned me was; money. Whether it would be enough to buy for the baby's needs. When he's sick, when he needs milk, and when he needs his pampers. The prices of the milks and going to doctor kept on rewinding in my head.

I kept praying to God, talked to Him, complained to Him, tell me hearts out to Him.
Syukur Alhamdullilah, whenever i feel that money isn't enough, there is always, money coming in. Alhamdullilah. Amin Amin.

"mau yakin babe".
memang btol tu. btol sangat-sangat.

Raut wajahmu;

HELLOOO!

i can't believe i'm going back to work next week, Mondayyyyyyyyy. oh my, the monday blues will be back. uwekkkk. time flies reallie fast when i'm at home. Kalau pat keje, mak ai. mcm bleh tdo berpuluh kali bangon balek pon tak time-time nak balek. aiya.

and of coz, i'm going to miss every single bit of moment while i was at home taking care of this little monster! hehe. He makes my world goes weeehooo everytime he smiles at me you noe. Can't beat the most good-looking guy out there. Mehehe. 

Look below; iphone cameras are the best when it comes to capturing babies expressions. Although, the resolutions are not that good.

mekh,hmm,yayy,hooooi!

the most i would miss; bathing him every morning after his feed.

his style of 'buat-cake'. yummm? heh.

 his cries. fake ones i tell you. ngade-ngade.

 my most favourite, watching him sleep. ZzzzZZzz.

its gonna be November tomorrow. which means, i'll be a year older on the very 3rd day of the month. which is, dua-puloh tiga. I dunnoe why, i dun feel as excited as i was as in previous years.Maybe because, i have the most precious gift that God has granted me. So ever precious that i wouldn't even want to exchange with anything else although he cries alot, poops on me, pee-ed on me etc etc. Hehe.

okaylah, baby dah nangis! toodles.

bulat bulat.

Believe it or not, i'm typing this while carrying Khair. Of coz with the help of the baby sling carrier. Hehe. Babies nowadays are so clever eh? When we carry them, they can sleep so soundly. If we put them down, there they go, opening their eyes again. Geraaaammm.

Becoming a mum is a whole new different life. My life used to be, waking up late during the weekends, spending free time editing pics slowly, taking my own sweet time to eat, taking my own sweet time to bath and bla bla bla. Now, all that goes poof in thin air. I can no longer wake up late. After subuh means, wake up. No more sleeping back. And of coz, don't expect to have 8 full hours of sleep at night. Khair will be waking up asking for milk, and then poo poo and then pee pee and then he will play play and then... goes back to sleep. Honestly, during the first few weeks, when i wasn't used to it, i cried to my husb complaining how tired i was. Husb did help too giving Khair milk and putting him back to sleep although he's working morning shift the next day. And he'll be waking up with eyes half closed. hee hee. Alhamdullilah as days goes by, we're getting used to it day by day. In fact, we're enjoying it. Babies, really make a home happier eh. :)

we just botak-ed him. i kept on laughing when i see his face. too cute lah. mcm nak gigit pon ader. haha.

aku suka dia;

Whenever the husb couldn't handle Qusyairi, he would always say; "Mcm maner lah kalau u takder dgn i sekarang". :')

I told him, i wouldn't be what I am now without him too. I won't be this happy, i won't be feeling the pain & i won't be smiling like how i am smiling now. hee.

Its true when they say, having a zuriat makes the relationship between a husb & wife closer. Alhamdullilah.

Qusyairi has lots of expressions on his face. One point of time, he will crying as if someone beat him up so badly, and another point of time, he will be smiling like kerang busok as if he is playing the playground already. And oh, i've been pee-ed, poop-ed & vomitted by him lots of times. It's becoming a norm for me already. During his first few days, he was admitted to KKH due to his high jaundice level. When i saw him struggling & crying under the photolight, i cried too. So badly. I couldn't bear to see him like that. If i could take over his place, i really want to. That is one whole experience too. Moreover, its the 1st day of raya somemore.

These 2 men in my life kept me falling in love with them each day. 

The husband can really tolerate my 'kepala angin' during my confinement. I really dunnoe why, i always have the urge to get angry. The pain i need to bear, plus Qusyari's cries, can really make oneself be stressed. Whenever i'm at the level to lose my temper, i always remind myself to this;

Bayi: “Tuhan, para malaikat di sini mengatakan bahwa besok aku akan dilahirkan ke dunia. Tetapi, bagaimana caranya aku hidup di sana? Aku begitu kecil dan lemah.”

Tuhan: “Aku telah memilih satu malaikat untukmu. Ia akan selalu menjaga dan menyayangimu setiap saat.”

Bayi: “Tapi aku sudah betah di surga ini, apa yang kulakukan hanyalah bernyanyi dan tertawa, ini cukup bagiku untuk bahagia.”

Tuhan: “Malaikatmu akan bernyanyi dan tersenyum untukmu setiap hari dan kamu akan merasakan kehangatan cintanya dan lebih berbahagia.”

Bayi: “Apa yang dapat kulakukan kalau aku ingin berbicara padamu?”

Tuhan: “Malaikatmu akan mengajarkan bagaimana cara kamu berdoa.”

Bayi: “Aku mendengar bahwa di bumi banyak orang jahat. Siapa yang akan melindungiku Tuhan”?

Tuhan: “Malaikatmu akan melindungimu dengan taruhan jiwa raganya.”

Bayi: “Tapi aku akan bersedih karena tidak melihat Engkau lagi.”

Tuhan: “Malaikatmu akan menceritakan kepadamu tentang Aku, dan akan mengajarkan bagaimana agar kamu bisa kembali kepada-Ku, walaupun sesungguhnya Aku selalu berada di sisimu.”

Saat itu surga begitu tenangnya … sehingga suara dari bumi pun dapat terdengar dan sang anak dengan suara lirih bertanya:

Bayi: “Tuhan… jika aku harus lahir ke dunia sekarang, bisakah Engkau memberitahuku, siapa nama malaikat di rumahku itu nanti”?

Tuhan: “Kamu akan memanggil malaikatmu itu dengan sebutan: I… B… U …”

And oh, i'm having a date with husband this Saturday! Sushi & movie date! Can't wait! hehe.

Welcome to the world, Khair Qusyairi!

Hi!

First thing first, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, minal aidil wal faizin! :)

2nd thing, I've given birth to Khair Qusyairi Bin Azman on the 13th August 2012, 25 Ramadhan 1433 @ 2255hrs.

Here are pics, a few days before 13th Aug.

And here I am, wanting to share the experience I had during labour and what it feels like to be a mother. :)
Of coz, labour was indeed madness and painful. Those who said it wasn't painful must be the ones who playcheat or just doesnt want to scare you. Like my mum said, 'you will know when the time comes'. And to describe the exact words during labour, only Allah s.w.t the Almighty will know how to.

**potong line: i hate my house's keyboard. so difficult to type lah.

So, on 13th of Aug in the morning at about 8plus, i felt water coming out and i thought it was pee. I went to toilet and i actually 'pee-ed' before i sat down on the toilet bowl. It was being repeated for about 3 times. On & off i got up from bed and went to the toilet. I called mum and asked is this what they called the waterbag and mum wasn't sure herself. So i called up SGH to ask. I was adviced to come down as they will do a check. Husband got panicked plus excited, while me on the other hand, still kept thinking about Raya. I kept on telling my husb & my mum that i die-die want to Raya first before giving birth. As errr, you noe lah, i want to eat all the nice-nice food before my pantang starts.

When i reached SGH, they started putting wires all around. That already got me scared. A female doctor came to check how many CM has my cervix opened. THAT was the first pain i felt as she will feel it with her fist. It was only 1cm when she first checked. And, the water that flowed out was my waterbag leaking & no reason why it leaked too early when my due date is only on the 8th Sept. I was induced, i could only pee in a pot as i couldn't get up(they dun allow). My contractions started about 3 in the afternoon and it was still bearable. As a first timer, i didn't know contractions would be more & more painful as labour gets nearer. When the nurses kept asking me whether to take epidural or not, i kept on saying no as i was being supported by the gas which helped me relieve the pain abit.

So, the next cervix check was at 6pm, which was only 3cm. my face was totally like this: -_______-
I was like, Bila nak game seiiiiiii? Hahaha. Husband who was there by my side all the way, kept asking me to take epidural but this big headed girl still say no. So, i told myself and husb, by the next check which would be at 11pm, if still not open till 8cm & abv, i will take epidural.

By 9plus, the contractions started to be more & more severe. The pain is ON & OFF. When it comes, the feeling is like menses cramps but 1000000000000000000000000 way moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee painful. ouch right. THEN, i asked for epidural. I guess about 10:30pm, (i couldn't look at the clock already coz too painful; can't be bothered)
a nurse checked, & my cervix is already 8cm! Everyone was shocked including my husb as it went from 3cm to 8cm in tat short period of time. Hehe. By then, epidural was cancelled and more nurses started to come in to help. Bcoz, i tell you one secret, whenever the contractions came, i didn't noe how i got the strength to PUSH together with the pain, when no one tells me to do so. I guess, that causes the cervix to open.

And then, the PUSHES and the breathings started. And please eh, no shouting. We were told to close our lips during the pushing part. I accidentally opened my mouth and shouted and got scolded by the nurse. HAHAHA.

At one point of time, the doctor told me to stop pushing as she saw the baby's head already. I couldn't stop pushing as it was too painful and POOOOPED! Khair Qusyairi FLEW OUT! >.< syukur alhamdullilah, he was 2.7kg at the time of birth. :)

So, epidural comes in action when it was time for the sewing part. Epidural is really a magical injection eh. Once it got injected in the spine, we will not be able to feel half bottom of our body within a few seconds. When i used my hand to feel my legs, i thought it was cushion. Haha.

Once everythin was done, i felt so weak. I kept on seeing stars. I couldn't stand properly. They said i lost quite a huge amount of blood during labour.

So, how does labour sounds to you? For those who have gone through labour, wa salute sama luuuu! hehe.

Coming up next episode: Aftermath of labour.

Maternity Leave.

One of the few advantages of getting pregnant is; of coz the 4 months maternity leave. 13 more days to the long rest which I've been patiently waiting.

Bcoz, work sucks. It has been suckier nowadays. With the shortage of manpower, with my kuku HOD, with nonsense people working here. These kinda of people need to learn their lesson. I'm praying that they can't get any new staff within these 13 days. And then. HAHA. baru padan muker kau. My husband warned me not to pick up any calls from the office when i'm on leave. And yes, i will ignore.

Everytime when i go check-up, my blood pressure is usually high. When the doctor asked, am i stressed up with anything, i would just say no. Indeed, i'm not that stressed up with work until like, this period. I tink, i tink too much. So, i will heckcare from now on. I will just ya ya, okay okay and poof, go for maternity leave. Seriously, i can't waaaaait!

In life,

In life,

One is not supposed to talk big, to show off, and to be arrogant.

When you do that, not only God hates that. But us, normal human beings hate that. And some even curse you back saying all those not nice words behind your back. And do you know that, what goes out from our mouth is Do'a? So, try to imagine, some or maybe a whole lot of people saying unpleasant words to you, hoping you'll get into all those mishaps and all? Astarghfirrullahalazim. Aren't you scared? If you are not, i am. And i don't understand why there are people who still do all these. Who are too arrogant and too show-off-ing. Haiya.

Revenge is something that will make us feel, puas hati. But, its not about revenge, but its about for that particular person to learn a lesson. To learn not being too show off. Oh, its just a piece of paper, a diploma. And you're talking as if you've earned some masters shit. And please, your diploma is not from some recognised organisation. If it's from a polytechnic, then fine. But this, you were not qualified at all to continue for this piece of paper at all.

In life,

Its better to just keep quiet at times and let the flow goes. Oh well, i'm already like that. But, of course, when the time comes for me to shout. I will screaaaaaam.

:)

baby, baby, baby, oh.

Yg ke tiga-puluh minggu;

Went for check-up with mum yesterday, and that was the very first time without the husb as he had to attend course. My high-blood pressure is forever high and i wonder why. Baby is kicking and moving like nobody's business and i can see my tummy moved by itself okay! it's really a blissful feeling although its kinda scary to see it move like a wave. And i kept on feeling pokings from inside the tum tum. Cute feeling la. Hehe.

The nurses has started giving me advices on what to do if i see any unusual things happening. Where to go and what to bring. Who to call and all that. Thinking about it, i'm really scared. InsyaAllah, i hope things will go smoothly.

Ouh, after all the waitings & patience, husband finally got the job that he has been wanting. Rezeki anak org kater, Alhamdullilah syukur Amin! :) its so true when he kept on saying to be patient and everything that happens, surely there are brighter days in the future! And yerp, i can see rainbows coming! Hehe. <3

babies; i wanna have your babies.

Happy Tuesday.

I can't stop looking at these 2 siblings. They are just too cute to be true.

kids just have funny stories eh? Like Farrell, he kept on bouncing his butt when i asked whether the cupcake tat he was eating is nice? And he uses any sticks or wadsoever to imitate his dad smoking. Aiyo. So cute la but the smoking part is a big NO to follow.

i wonder wad my baby boy will come up with his funny stories. hehehe.

I dreamt of giving birth last night. I wasn't in pain at all. The next minute i knew, i saw my baby in my hands. Funny but true, i am scared of giving birth but i want to feel how it feels like. I wanna know the pains, the endurance that my mum went through while in labour. InsyaAllah, i'll just pray for the best.

It has been quite sometime since me & hubs had a heart-to-heart session. So yesterday he was on leave, and i was too tired to go work Heh. And we talked and talked. From nonsense topics to topics about whose features the baby is gonna follow, to whether he will be right or left handed, until we came to talk about death. I cried when he asked me; 'Can we still see each other after death?' I am scared till i cried so badly. :'( i do wonder that everytime too, but yesterday the thought was too deep.

now i feel like hugging my husband already.

Week-to-the-ends.

hey hoooo.

some updates on the tummy. i'm fat, don't have to remind me. 

the weekends. i can't wait for this week to end. like seriously. i'm sooooo tired already. :(

and this weekend i have too many things to attend to.

glucose test.

wedding.

bdae party.

wedding.again.

and next week, 

check-up.

bdae party.

kenduri. (can't wait for kenduri. to meet my cousins and of coz the anak sedaressss.)

and oh, i'm quite nervous for the glucose test. i've never heard anything good abt it. they said i have to drink a cup of super sweeeeeet drink and they will test my blood? or issit urine? and have to wait for 3 hours. ohmygawd. lets just wait and see this Saturday.

i've always thought of doing maternity shots. but we can do ourselves using my Canon 600D. heh heh.

no need to waste money horr.

during this period of pregnancy, my pimples are disappearing! im so happy. Unlike 2-3months before pregnancy when i had terrible pimple breakouts and i even cried to my husband, complaining how ugly i look. :( but now, syukur Alhamdullilah. Stay this way boleh? heh. And i can't be bothered to put on make-up. If i do, just powder and blusher. Usually with mascara la, eyeliner la, eyeshadow la. Eeyer. Now all those eeks me. Too lazy to even hold them.

and and, do you watch Super Spontan? if you do, you'll noe where we get this face from. HAHA.

and oh gosh, i dreamt  that Zizan was my boyfriend. And it felt so real, until i woke up and heard someone snoring beside me. heh. Reality hits me back. Woops.

iloveus. ♥

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

I want to cry after reading all these. :'/

Sometimes, i don't think i'm perfect for the husband. 

1. Seorang wanita yang jahat adalah lebih buruk daripada 1000 orang lelaki yang jahat.

2. Dua rakaat solat daripada wanita hamil lebih baik daripada 80 rakaat solat wanita yang tidak hamil.

3. Wanita yang beri susu kepada anaknya daripada buah dadanya akan mendapat satu pahala daripada setiap titik susu yang diberikannya.

4. Apabila suami pulang ke rumah dalam keadaan letih dan isteri layan dengan baik akan mendapat pahala jihad.

5. Seorang isteri yang habiskan malamnya dengan tidur yang tidak selesa kerana menjaga yang sakit dapat pahala seperti membebaskan 20 orang hamba.

6. Isteri yang melihat suami dengan kasih sayang dan suami pula melihat isteri dengan penuh kasih sayang, Allah s.w.t. akan pandang dengan penuh rahmat.

7. Wanita yang menyebabkan suaminya keluar di jalan Allah s.w.t. dan kemudian menjaga rumahtangganya akan masuk syurga 500 tahun lebih awal daripada suaminya dan jadi ketua kepada 70 000 Malaikat dan bidadari. Wanita itu akan dimandikan dalam syurga lalu menunggu suaminya sambil menaiki kuda yang dibuat dari permata Yaqut.

8. Wanita yang tidak cukup tidur pada malam hari kerana menjaga anak yang sakit akan diampun oleh Allah s.w.t. seluruh dosanya dan bila dia hiburkan hati anaknya Allah s.w.t. memberinya 12 tahun pahala ibadat.

9. Wanita yang memerah susu binatang dengan bacaan “Bismillah” didoakan oleh binatang itu dengan doa keberkatan.

10. Wanita yang menguli tepung dengan “Bismillah” Allah s.w.t. akan berkatkan rezekinya.

11. Wanita yang menyapu lantai dengan berzikir dapat pahala seperti menyapu lantai Baitullah.

12. Wanita yang menjaga solat, puasa dan taat pada suami, Allah s.w.t. mengizinkannya masuk syurga dari mana-mana pintu yang ia kehendaki.

13. Pahala bagi wanita hamil adalah seperti berpuasa pada siang hari dan beribadat pada malam hari.

14. Wanita yang bersalin akan dapat pahala 70 tahun solat dan puasa dan setiap kesakitan pada satu uratnya Allah swt. akan beri satu pahala haji.

15. Sekiranya wanita itu meninggal dunia dalam masa 40 hari selepas bersalin ia dikira mati syahid.

16. Apabila seorang wanita yang menyusukan anaknya yang menagis diwaktu malam dengan sabar, dia dapat pahala satu tahun sembahyang dan puasa.

17. Kalau wanita menyusui anaknya sampai cukup tempoh 2 suku tahun maka malaikat di langit datang bawa khabar gembira bahawa syurga wajib bagi kamu.

18. Kalau isteri layan suami tanpa khianat dapat pahala 12 tahun solat.

19. Wanita yang picit suami tanpa disuruh dapat pahala 7 tola emas manakala isteri yang picit suami bila disuruh akan dapat pahala 7 tola perak.

20. Wanita yang meninggal dunia dengan dapat keredhaan suaminya, dia akan masuk syurga.

21. Seorang wanita solehah lebih baik daripada 70 orang lelaki yang soleh.

22. Jika suami mengajar satu masalah agama pada isterinya dia akan dapat pahala 80 tahun ibadat.

23. Semua orang akan dipanggil untuk melihat wajah Allah swt di akhirat tetapi Allah swt sendiri akan datang pada wanita yang memberati auratnya iaitu yang memakai purdah di dunia ini dengan istiqamah (tetap).

24. Seorang isteri yang menyambut baik kedatangan suaminya yang dalam keadaan marah, Allah swt beri kepadanya setengah pahala jihad.

25. Allah swt berkati dalam rezeki bila seorang wanita memasak dengan zikir Bismillah.

26. Allah swt akan melaknati wanita yang sengaja mendedahkan auratnya kepada lelaki yang bukan muhrimnya.

Dam dam didi didi.

wall decals are awesome muchhhh. kept on browsing & browsing for them for the last few hours. I can't wait for the new house; just to decorate it. heh heh. i want my house to be simple. kater org boyan tu, tak 'ebu.' and i dun wan to have many things inside the house. moreover, its just a small flat, so cannot place too many things inside the house.

so yeah, 887B, #07- errr, forgot pulak. haha.

Time flies.

Without realizing, little one is already 24weeks inside my tum-tum. I still can't believe i'm having a huge tummy bulging out whenever i look down. 2nd trimester was relaxing, not much problems. Baby gave me some time to enjoy this period huh. I guess it will all come back in the 3rd trimester which is coming soon. Like reaaaal soon. Based on the resources that i've read. Hopefully, not as bad as the 1st two weeks eh.

Everything is like in a ZOOM. Firstly, got married, and then got to know im pregnant and then by the time i know my little boy is gonna be born. And then, here comes the tedious part, our gonna-be-built-soon house. Ohmygawd. Gonna live independently without my mum, cooking on my own, tidying on my own, managing our humble little house. And yeah, financial part. Every stages, money saved, surely there is sumting tat need to be spent on. InsyaAllah, murahkanlah rezeki kami. Amin Ya RabbalAlamin.

You know, or maybe everyone should know that this period of time, someone's feelings got overly sensitive. It wasn't exactly directed to me but it was to my husband, the other half of me. And of coz if anyone were to say anything bad or hurt him, i would feel partly of it too. Anger got over me, but the husband was just smiling away. He is just cool ain't he? Wait, i'm not praising him or wadsoever here but really, if i were him, i would have shouted directly on his face. Sigh, inilah org penyabar. I believe, one fine day, God will surely noe wad to do to tat particular person. Just sit back & relax beybeh. ;)

lets korek hidung and buat bodoh eh? hahaah.

little one.

i guess, blogging is when i feel like i want to. heh.

first & foremost, syukur Alhamdullilah. 

A little one is growing inside! Having to know the developments, reading from one week to another and how the growth continues, amaze me. From just the size of a seed, can grow into hands, legs, eyes, head etc etc. And of course, morning sickness and a few other symptoms are there to remind you; "Yes, you are having a baby inside you". First check-up, i gained 9kgs. my jaw literally dropped. Seriously. And seeing through the ultrasound, the size of a seed, just makes me wanna tear up. So, where does the 9kg come from eh? Haha. So you can imagine how gigantic i may look now. :P

Everyone around me has been super duper supportive and extra caring. Especially the hubs, ibu & mum-in-law. They are too sweet. Hubs kept on saying i look more & more attractive day by day. Yer ker nieeeee? Hehh. Oh, he knows that we, pregnant women need those kind of words more rather than saying us fat. Right? I can be unreasonably sensitive with just a little word. Sucks much.

So here it is, im about 9 weeks already. 

Say hi!